Change–Inevitable and yet, arduous

21 Oct

On this The Maiden Voyage of my blogging career, I decided to tackle something easy.  I have spent the majority of my adult life doing as much as I could to keep things as constant as possible.  And now, in the last year, God has changed virtually everything in my life.  This leads me to two philosophical thought processes.  First, why do so many things seem to always change at the same time?  Second, why am I so reticent to speak on it?

When considering the first, I have come to the contemplative realization, that our lives are in a chronic state of adaptation.  We are forever augmenting our schedules or adjusting our preferences to an amazing degree.  The thing is that we change so much, that change, in and of itself, usually has no bearing on us.  The reason for this reality is that we normally have things in our lives that we rely on for consistency.  Grandiose or simplistic as that may be, we all have the “tentpoles” of congruity.  These “tentpoles” hold up the ever flapping tarp of our lives.  As long as the “tentpoles” remain, we feel like our lives are consistent.

Then without the aid of a monition, we lose a tentpole and we notice the greater degree of flapping.  Let me give you an example.  My wife and I recently had a discussion about how we were hesitant to change our cell phones because our lives had seen so much modification.  As I thought back on this, in the last two years, I have had four different cell phones, my wife has had at least as many, and we did away with our home phone line.  Clearly not a change we are normally hesitant about, but our tentpole was gone, and so was our ability to ignore the flapping tarp of phones in our lives.

Therefore, my big conjecture is that alteration of life is consistent; we only notice it when something big mutates; and at that point, we notice all the small things that ordinarily leave us with little or no worry.  Whether you agree with my speculation or not, it is an inexcapable part of the human condition, which leads me to my second point of consternation.

Is my reluctance to acknowledge the reality of variation something that corresponds with my personality, my gender, my faith, all my fellow humans, or just something unique to me?  This is something that I am still pondering, but I have noticed through my recent gripes that some people seem to thrive on change, others claim to thrive on it (but really don’t), and some (like me) admit that it is not something accepted easily.  While I did not have a satisfying answer to the general question of why I dislike engaging in the discussion of its reality, I began to notice that I love to talk about, accept, enjoy, and encourage new evolutions in actions, thoughts, and patterns, if it was something that I was behind, had thought about, or instigated.

So, as I conclude this exchanged reality of my writing thoughts for all to see on a public blog, I realize that this apprehension surrounding switched lifestyle is really just a manifestation of my lack of belief that it will end up as well as it should.  While I (usually) eventually give in to God and his call for change, I tend to fight it more than I should.  So that makes life more difficult.  The reality that I need to strengthen my belief is one that scares the dickens out of me.


One Response to “Change–Inevitable and yet, arduous”

  1. Jenni October 25, 2011 at 2:41 am #

    Read and enjoyed. You have an amazing vocabulary. I love that.

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